I always had a close bond with my paternal grandmother. We looked alike and childhood pictures of her could have been mistaken for me. However, growing up I always sensed a deep sadness, a sense of resignation in her, and I never knew why she should feel that way.

When I was 17 years old and had just graduated from high school, my father took a job in South Korea, so I went with my parents to live there for a year. When my mother and I said goodbye to Grandma, she gave us each a handkerchief she had crocheted and said to us, "I may not see you again." She was not sick and we dismissed her comment, saying that of course we would see her again. I believe her soul knew her time was coming.

About three months later in South Korea, my mother got a call from my father and all she said was "Oh, no!" I began crying because I "knew" that my grandmother had died. My mother told me minutes later that I was right.

When I returned home to New Zealand, I went to college and at the age of 20, at the insistence of my parents, I married the guy I was living with. I knew right after the wedding that it was a mistake, and ten months later I moved out. My mother disowned me and did not talk to me for four months claiming that I had not given my marriage a chance. I needed her support, and so I had a very difficult time dealing with her rejection.

During this time, I had a "visitation" in a dream from my grandma. She was right there and I could feel her presence and her love. She spoke to me telepathically and said that I was doing the right thing in leaving the marriage and that I would be OK. Her message was very reassuring and all I wanted to do was hug her. She told me I couldn't hug her because she was on the other side, that we were in two different worlds but that it was all going to be OK.

Shortly after having this "dream" I got a letter from my mother. In her letter she told me how my grandmother had fallen in love with another man when my father was a young boy. She was planning to leave my grandfather and had written him a note saying so. But my grandfather came home early, found the note and convinced my grandmother not to leave. So she stayed with him until she died.

I finally understood the deep sadness that I had sensed in her. It came from the love that she gave up out of a sense of duty. In my time of need, she came to me to tell me that what I was doing was OK. She had walked in my shoes but her outcome was different. My grandma was my Angel when I needed her.

Heather
Scoodwear@aol.com

Posted June 12, 2008