Two years ago I lost my son, Joseph. He died by suicide just after his 21st birthday. He and I lived together, but his sisters had already grown up and moved away. We are a close and loving family. Joe and I talked about God and life quite a lot - simple, basic beliefs. I think he was depressed and lost his happiness with life. When he was 18, he supported four children through the Christian Children's Fund because he felt bad that there were little kids who were hungry.

About a month after he left, things began to happen.
> I came back from a neighbor's house one day, and the clock on the stove was an hour ahead. It's the only time in the five years I lived there that that happened and I noticed it right away.
> Also, the TV started turning itself on. I marked these incidents on a calendar.
> One night, I went into the house and Joe's picture with his sisters was on the computer screen. There was no program open and no icons on the screen. I have about 60 pictures in my pictures folder but this one was opened up. It was very unusual to have any picture come up alone without the program being opened.
> The health care company called, and asked if Joe was there. On the answering machine a voice said "no." Then the caller asked if anyone else was there who they could talk to, and the voice said "no." It was all recorded on the machine when I came home from work. It sounded like a person using a voice box who had throat problems.
> Another time I came downstairs and was by the laundry table. The steel frame for hanging clothes had about ten hangers on it, but only one was swinging back and forth all by itself. There were no open windows, just one hanger moving, noticeably. I sat there and watched, because by this time I wasn't surprised any more.

I would "talk" to Joe while I was home and tell him I was not angry with him, but that I missed him. One of the last times the TV came on, I sat down across the room and said, "You know, this is kind of crazy. The TV comes on and I think it's you. How do I know it really is you and the TV isn't just going on by itself?" At that moment, the set turned off.

I believe he wanted me to know he was sorry and he was able to get my attention to let me know. I believe if I asked him today if he was signaling me through the TV, it might come on again. But I don't believe I should do this as he may be moving away from his life here, and that probably is for the best, for him.

Arlene Picciano

Posted Jan. 18, 2010