I lost my loving companion, John Bare, of nine years recently when he was killed in a motorcycle accident. He was on his way to work and never made it. Since that gray day, Nov. 4, 2003, I have put my spirituality in high gear.

Your 1111 stories stand out to me because this has also happened to me since John died. The first was when I was at a diner with a friend for breakfast. I grabbed the check to say it was "my treat," but when I went to the cashier and looked at the bill, I was surprised to see that it read $11.11. I was beaming; that was my first.

My second was a couple of weeks ago. I was at work and we have to use the first 3 and the last 4 digits of our customers' phone number for their "control number." I was working on a deal and had to input the "control number" for a certain customer. To my surprise, the last four digits of the phone number were 1111.

My most recent experience was once again at work. I had several cars going to another dealer, and the other dealer needed to know the amount of the check they should write out for the vehicles we were selling them. To my surprise, the total added up to $201,111.07. I smiled and told my co-worker, "Look, another set of four 1's."

I really believe it is a connection with the afterlife. I believe that angels are always around. I have had many spiritual experiences since the passing of my John. I love them all and believe in them. A year ago I was questioning my spirituality. This year I am swimming in the divine feeling I am experiencing through my spiritual growth.

Some of the other experiences that I have: My first sign was an old card John had given me years ago on Valentines Day. It read, "I will always love you, Melissa, Happy Valentines Day. Love, John." I found this card in my pantry by surprise, on the floor. How did it get there?

One day I was looking all over for my lip balm. I couldn't find it anywhere. That night as I pulled my sheets and blankets back to jump into bed, there it lay with a small gift box next to it. How did that happen? Was that a gift kiss?

I found white feathers here and there in the house one weekend. I told the kids, "Daddy must have earned his wings," and we just dismissed it. That Monday morning after the weekend was over, I noticed my black cat had something hanging on his fur as he sat drinking from his water dish. Boy, did I ever smile when I found out it was a white feather. It was my John, I just know it.

I woke up one morning to someone giving me a puckering kiss. It was so real. Like it was John but I could not see him, only hear the kiss.

One of the best stories took place at my John's accident scene. When I received the accident report it stated that there had been two witnesses. I called each witness to hear their story of my love's final moments. It was a bit mysterious because Darcey, one of the witnesses, talked so heavenly about a third man in a "business suit" who was talking with my husband in his final moments. The second witness, Robert, also mentioned the "man in the business suit," but was not sure where he came from. This man sat on the road with my husband holding his hand and talking very calmly and beautifully to him. Darcey said she was quite envious of this man who sat with my husband. "He was so warm and loving. I wish I had been the one to be so calm," she told me. The man in the "business suit" never left his name and number, and he disappeared as soon as the medics arrived. Later, she believed he was an angel preparing John for his journey. I believe it, too. I really do.

Melissa Jordan Bare

missycoffee@comcast.net

Lancaster County, PA