was a jolly, friendly and kind man. He had been sick for some
time in the VA hospital. My husband, Pete, and I would visit
him often. One night, for reasons I cannot explain, I couldn't
leave Dad. I had my husband tell my brother to come up to
see him. My brother said, "I'll see Dad tomorrow. I'm
sick and tired of you guys telling me to go and see Dad!"
Pete came into my dad's room and, assuming that my dad was
asleep, he told me what my brother said. Dad wasn't asleep
and when he heard what my brother said, he grimaced.
we ate, we started back to my dad's room. Pete said, "Why
do you want to stay here tonight? Let's tell your dad goodnight
and we'll come back tomorrow." I was as shocked with
my reply as my husband was when I said, "Because Dad
needs me. He'll be dead by 5 a.m. I won't let him die alone."
4 a.m., Dad's breathing became even more labored. My husband
ran to the nurses' station and got the nurse. The nurse checked
for a heartbeat and said, "He's gone. I'll call the doctor.
The doctor came in and pronounced my dad's death at 5 a.m.
Three days after my dad died, I was in the kitchen when I
felt Dad's presence. I could feel that Dad was trying to communicate
with me. I could also feel his frustration at my not being
able to hear him. I looked at the location where I felt dad
was and said, "Dad, its ok. I know you're trying to speak
to me and I know you're there! I love you so much! Whatever
you do, please don't appear to me, because I don't think I
could handle that!"
days later, while I was upstairs in the office, my husband
ran upstairs and said, "I just saw a shadow of a man's
head and shoulder in the kitchen!" Being an engineer
by trade, my husband is a very logical man. He said that he
went into the kitchen and looked at the shadow from every
angle to see if it was an anomaly of lighting. I told my him,
"Oh, that's just dad." I went downstairs but I didn't
see anything. I did feel dad's presence and I told Dad that
it was ok and that I knew he was there.
days later, while my husband and I were watching TV in the
living room, we heard a crash in the kitchen. We looked at
each other, both afraid to move. My eyes followed my husband
to the kitchen doorway and I saw him turn pale as he said,
"Honey, look at this!" There on the cold stove was
a small plate. It had broken in half and collapsed onto itself
into the shape of a cross! I knew it was my dad trying to
communicate with us. Dad used to be a minister.
Two months after my dad died, I had a dream about him. In
my dream, he and I were standing in a wheat field. I could
touch and smell him. My dad held me in his arms for what seemed
like an hour. I said, "Dad, I miss you so much. Why did
you have to leave me?" He said, using his pet name for
me, "Mouse, I'm ok. Don't be sad. I'll be back soon."
I said to him, "What do you mean? You're dead!"
My dad just smiled. That's when I woke up.
two and a half months later, my sister called and told me
that my brother and his wife were pregnant. This wouldn't
have been noteworthy but for the fact that they had been married
for seventeen years and have been unable to have children.
months after that, my sister-in-law sent me a picture of her
ultrasound. In the picture, clear as day, was a picture of
the fetus that looked just like Dad, sleeping in the womb
like he slept in life, with his hand under his face. My brother
and his wife later had a healthy baby girl. My brother had
said he didn't want to see my dad the night he died. My dad
heard my husband tell me this and was upset by it. He died
a few hours later. I think my dad chose to come back as my
brother's child for this reason.
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May 31, 2007