I was twenty when my uncle Gary passed away unexpectedly, and it changed my life forever. He was always my favorite uncle because of his sweet and jolly personality. Gary was borderline mentally retarded, but he never considered himself handicapped in any way. He was kind to everyone, and never met a stranger. I was devastated when I received the news that Gary was gone. The news got worse when I found out he had died from an accidental overdose of pain medication. Gary had a longtime addiction to pain medication which began after a car wreck ten years earlier.

I grew up in southeastern Kentucky in a deeply religious family. I always attended church, and took everything the preacher said to heart. The sermons were often about fire and brimstone, as well as sin and punishment. My perception of God at that time was a God of wrath and punishment. I felt that even though Gary's death was an accident, it was brought on by his own actions, actions that were sinful, and I really feared he was in Hell. My heart ached, and for weeks I prayed for God to have mercy on him.

One night a couple of weeks after Gary's death I got to see him again. He came to me while I was sleeping. He was standing in front of me with a beautiful light in the background. He had the biggest smile I had ever seen. I ran to him and said, "Gary, I can't believe you are here! What are you doing here? Let me look at your face. I don't ever want to forget what you look like."

Gary looked at me with that big grin on his face and said, "I just wanted to let you know that I am all right, everything is O.K." He didn't actually say, "I am in heaven," but there was no need to. It was perfectly clear from the moment I saw him.

I have no doubt that my experience was not just a dream. From that moment on, my understanding of God completely changed. I now know that God is a forgiving, loving, merciful God. I truly feel that my uncle was sent by God to ease my pain and doubt. It is truly my most treasured experience.

Nicole Presnell
Please respond to john@beyondreligion.com

Posted July 29, 2007