remember any details of a past life, but I do remember being
in another realm and deciding to come back here. I saw the
opportunity to be born as the person I am now, and I wanted
to be born because I felt sorry for someone here, probably
my mother. I remember thinking that I could help her and that
I was strong enough to survive another life here.
forced to come back. I could have stayed where I was as long
as I wanted to. The being I was talking to wanted me to wait
and come back here at a later time. Other beings said that
I might not survive, that I might not be able to return to
that other realm after being born here. They told me that
I might be destroyed or get lost. I told him that I knew I
hadn't done well the last time I was on earth but that I was
stronger and had learnt much in the time since then. It had
been a long time since my last life and I was sure I could
handle a new one. Despite their misgivings, I was allowed
to come back.
telling my cousin about all this when I was three, but my
mother thought I was telling stories. I never mentioned it
to her again. I was brought up to be an atheist and I still
am an atheist because there was no sense of a god in my memory
of that other realm. Although there was an authority structure,
we were all the same types of beings. I was brought up to
think philosophically but not spiritually. And yet this memory,
which does not fit into anything I was ever taught, has always
been with me.
are a few things about this other realm that I remember strongly.
There was no colour. It wasn't white or black; colour just
wasn't a factor. Also, I was female and these other people
were male. It seems strange to me that in that place there
were distinctions between male and female entities. We didn't
have bodies. I can't make sense of that even now.
referring to the fact that I had lived as a human before,
but I do not remember any of my past lives. Except that once
as a young child I remember seeing a bird and thinking, "I
liked being a bird." I felt nostalgia.
being born. I was six weeks early. I remember thinking, in
English, in a jolt of panic, "It's happening, something's
gone wrong, I made a mistake." I remembered the warning
I had been given not to come back, and I was afraid that I
had overestimated my ability to survive here. I was determined
not to fail so soon, and I pushed myself to get out. I think
that, without that memory to spur me on and the feeling that
I had something to prove, I would have died during birth.
other memories from when I was a young baby - of being so
small that all I could do was cry for my mother to come and
change me or be with me. I remember thinking, "Where's
that lady? I want that lady to come. I like her." I have
memories of playing with my activity centre, of stretching,
crawling and posing for photos as a baby, of people talking
to me in baby-talk, of my first birthday party which was held
when I was only ten months old, of my mother choosing baby-food
(I really wanted the red jar but she almost bought the dark
one), of toddling around when I was only just able to walk,
and of my parents arguing when they were going through their
divorce when I was two years old. No one else I know has memories
from that far back in their lives. I can only explain it to
myself by thinking that I was an old soul in a young body.
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