[The day after this story was posted, Carrie was contacted by Loretta Miller. Loretta remembers an experience similar to this one. Her story is titled "A Dying Confederate Soldier." Because of this remarkable "coincidence," we decided to publish the two stories together.]

I will fill you in on my Civil War memory.

I am on the Union side. I can't recall my name but "Samuel" feels familiar. I am standing by a very large tree dressed in the Union civil war attire. I am near a river bank. I am lean and have sandy blond hair and a day's growth of beard. My eyes look blue like they do now. I have a worried look on my face and feel the panic of having to leave my wife to go off to war. She is standing to my left wearing a beige colored dress with a parasol in her left hand. Her hair is blondish and long. She has the expression of uncertainty on her face. I think she is with child even though she isn't showing yet. My fear of abandoning her and our child is great indeed. I did not want to leave her. I hate the fact that I have to go fight and die in a war. I think I knew I would not see her again. I believe I died at Shiloh. I don't have any actual memories of the battle of Shiloh itself; more like feelings of being close to the cannons to protect myself.

This explains several things. Cannon fire has always scared me. I don't like loud bangs, especially fourth of July fireworks. I seem to get better with that every year but the loud bangs still make me flinch like I am being shot at. It also explains my passion for the color blue. Practically everything in my wardrobe was blue. I have since tried to break away from my comfort zone and wear other colors. In addition, I currently have abandonment issues that I think carry over from that life. I am now working on healing those issues. I have always felt I was a male before this life.

In past life regressions you can actually be outside yourself and see what you looked like. Almost like a second party. The energy of your former self is present so the current energy of your self can be at a distance to view things. I see myself and feel my former self and emotions at the same time. It is very strange.

Carrie Collins

carrie@totalpurposemassage.com

Posted April 10, 2004