I had an unusual experience recently that may be of some interest to those interested in past lives, and how they affect this one. I have suffered from clinical depression for as long as I can remember. Even as a little kid, I have really had to fight this illness.

Last month I attempted to switch to a new anti-depressant medication, but it didn't work for me and I would up even more depressed, almost suicidal. Late one night I was praying. I asked God, "Why?" Not as in "Why me?" but why does depression exist at all? What possible purpose could it serve? Where does it come from? Aware that mental illness crushes the spirit and does not allow it to blossom, I said to God, "If You would just tell me where it comes from, maybe I could fight it better."

That night, I had a vivid dream. I was a man, a Jew, somewhere in Europe during WWII. I was in hiding from the Nazis. Along with two other adults, I seemed to be in a large linen closet or walk-in clothes closet that had been converted into a hiding place. The three of us spent most of our time lying horizontally on shelves, because it was the most comfortable way to be in that small space.

In the dream, I knew that the Germans had been defeated and that American soldiers were now patrolling the area. I knew that it was safe for me to leave, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was paralyzed with terror. I knew, mentally, that I was safe, but emotionally I was unable to move.

Then these words came to me, not to my ears, but rather in my mind's ear: "Some people have a hard time letting go of the fear. And some people have a hard time letting go of the sadness." Those were the exact words, clear as a bell.

I can't say with any certainty that I was actually a Jewish person persecuted by the Nazis in a former life, and that this is what causes my constant sadness and hopelessness. But it's food for thought.

Lisa
Edmond, OK
Please respond to john@beyondreligion.com

Posted July 3, 2004