had an unusual experience recently that may be of some
interest to those interested in past lives, and how
they affect this one. I have suffered from clinical
depression for as long as I can remember. Even as a
little kid, I have really had to fight this illness.
month I attempted to switch to a new anti-depressant
medication, but it didn't work for me and I would up
even more depressed, almost suicidal. Late one night
I was praying. I asked God, "Why?" Not as
in "Why me?" but why does depression exist
at all? What possible purpose could it serve? Where
does it come from? Aware that mental illness crushes
the spirit and does not allow it to blossom, I said
to God, "If You would just tell me where it comes
from, maybe I could fight it better."
That night, I had a vivid dream. I was a man, a Jew,
somewhere in Europe during WWII. I was in hiding from
the Nazis. Along with two other adults, I seemed to
be in a large linen closet or walk-in clothes closet
that had been converted into a hiding place. The three
of us spent most of our time lying horizontally on shelves,
because it was the most comfortable way to be in that
the dream, I knew that the Germans had been defeated
and that American soldiers were now patrolling the area.
I knew that it was safe for me to leave, but I couldn't
bring myself to do it. I was paralyzed with terror.
I knew, mentally, that I was safe, but emotionally I
was unable to move.
these words came to me, not to my ears, but rather in
my mind's ear: "Some people have a hard time letting
go of the fear. And some people have a hard time letting
go of the sadness." Those were the exact words,
clear as a bell.
I can't say with any certainty that I was actually a
Jewish person persecuted by the Nazis in a former life,
and that this is what causes my constant sadness and
hopelessness. But it's food for thought.
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Posted July 3, 2004