When I was about fifteen years old, I had an experience, which was much more than a dream. I was climbing down a wrought iron ladder at nighttime, aware of cars driving below. I wondered where I was when suddenly I realised that my hands were different-they were thicker, harder and older. I looked further down towards my feet and saw heavy denim jeans, much rougher than today's type. I noticed I had on brownish leatherwork boots and at that moment I realised that I wasn't a woman but a man.

I became aware of smells, which isn't the norm when I dream. The smell of the ocean was in the air, and I knew I was in an area that was a beachfront. I could also smell the scent of food cooking, as though there were restaurants around me-the aroma of fish cooking, oil for French-fries in the air and a salty taste in my mouth. I realized I was very thirsty.

The ladder I was climbing down overlapped a billboard. When I hit the ground, I was confused as to where I was. The cars on the road were mainly 1950's style, and there was congested traffic, horns honking, lights flashing, and people everywhere. It was early evening and people were walking in and out of shops, as though it were the tourist area of a seaside resort. They were dressed in summer clothing but from the 1950's. People looked at me as I pushed through the crowd. I knew I was seen; I wasn't there as a ghost but in real form. And I was aware of myself as a young man in his mid 20's.

Alarmed and confused, I became aware that I was searching for a blond woman wearing glasses. I remember wondering with great intensity: "where is she, I must find her." But who was I looking for, and why was I so desperate to find her? I walked until I was exhausted from looking, when suddenly there she was. She just appeared in front of me as if we were supposed to meet. She looked shocked to see me, and ran to me saying, "What are you doing here? You know you can't keep doing this. You don't belong here any more." Her long blond hair was tied loosely back and her glasses kept slipping down her little Irish nose. I was happy to see her, but I felt disappointed that she insisted I go back. Back where? I wanted to be with her, but I knew she was right. She said she would walk me back to where I had started.

We walked through the crowds and, knowing I would have to ascend the ladder, I felt thankful that she was with me. But one thing confused me. She said, "You have to stop doing this." So, had I done this before? I didn't recall doing it. She walked me to the ladder at the billboard. I looked at her as we held hands one more time, and then I stepped reluctantly onto the first rung. As I began to climb, all that I had seen gradually faded away.

I woke very suddenly, soaked to the skin with the scent of the seaside. I was very confused and scared. I kept the experience to myself for many years, and yet it still feels as if it happened yesterday.

Jeanne M. Callahan
jmc92859@yahoo.co.uk

Posted July 3, 2004