I was about fifteen years old, I had an experience,
which was much more than a dream. I was climbing down
a wrought iron ladder at nighttime, aware of cars driving
below. I wondered where I was when suddenly I realised
that my hands were different-they were thicker, harder
and older. I looked further down towards my feet and
saw heavy denim jeans, much rougher than today's type.
I noticed I had on brownish leatherwork boots and at
that moment I realised that I wasn't a woman but a man.
became aware of smells, which isn't the norm when I
dream. The smell of the ocean was in the air, and I
knew I was in an area that was a beachfront. I could
also smell the scent of food cooking, as though there
were restaurants around me-the aroma of fish cooking,
oil for French-fries in the air and a salty taste in
my mouth. I realized I was very thirsty.
ladder I was climbing down overlapped a billboard. When
I hit the ground, I was confused as to where I was.
The cars on the road were mainly 1950's style, and there
was congested traffic, horns honking, lights flashing,
and people everywhere. It was early evening and people
were walking in and out of shops, as though it were
the tourist area of a seaside resort. They were dressed
in summer clothing but from the 1950's. People looked
at me as I pushed through the crowd. I knew I was seen;
I wasn't there as a ghost but in real form. And I was
aware of myself as a young man in his mid 20's.
and confused, I became aware that I was searching for
a blond woman wearing glasses. I remember wondering
with great intensity: "where is she, I must find
her." But who was I looking for, and why was I
so desperate to find her? I walked until I was exhausted
from looking, when suddenly there she was. She just
appeared in front of me as if we were supposed to meet.
She looked shocked to see me, and ran to me saying,
"What are you doing here? You know you can't keep
doing this. You don't belong here any more." Her
long blond hair was tied loosely back and her glasses
kept slipping down her little Irish nose. I was happy
to see her, but I felt disappointed that she insisted
I go back. Back where? I wanted to be with her, but
I knew she was right. She said she would walk me back
to where I had started.
walked through the crowds and, knowing I would have
to ascend the ladder, I felt thankful that she was with
me. But one thing confused me. She said, "You have
to stop doing this." So, had I done this before?
I didn't recall doing it. She walked me to the ladder
at the billboard. I looked at her as we held hands one
more time, and then I stepped reluctantly onto the first
rung. As I began to climb, all that I had seen gradually
woke very suddenly, soaked to the skin with the scent
of the seaside. I was very confused and scared. I kept
the experience to myself for many years, and yet it
still feels as if it happened yesterday.
Posted July 3, 2004